


Alluring Terrors

by AllHellBrokeLucy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dom/sub, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hate to Love, Light Angst, Love/Hate, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, NSFW, Oikawa Tooru is a Little Shit, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing, Teasing, Top Oikawa Tooru, reader is a Mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHellBrokeLucy/pseuds/AllHellBrokeLucy
Summary: You met Oikawa at a house party and from then on everything went downhill. You did not ask for this, you did not want any of this and he definitely did not help you feel better about it all.❝No need to be shy. You can talk to me, I know you’ve been dying to.❞_________________________________________________________________________________________________[[Hi! As you can see I write sometimes, but I also draw lots of haikyuu fanarts. you can find them here:twitter.com/GlitterdecayArtinstagram.com/glitterdecayart/❤︎❤︎❤︎ ]]
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 35
Kudos: 121





	1. Red carpet

**Author's Note:**

> ❤︎ I haven't written anything for years, and English is not my first language. If you decide to comment, please be gentle. Thank you!!! ❤︎

It was not the first time he pissed you off, nor was it going to be the last, you already knew that much for sure.

The first time was different. You remember those chocolate-caramel eyes playfully eyed you for a mere second when you first met the volleyball star in person – at least that is how your friend, Aki introduced him to you. Yeah, he knew that was the first thing you knew about him. After all, everyone in your friend circle who knew him kept talking about him being a big shot and an amazing guy, so you were already bored of him months before you first met. However, Oikawa was already used to people judging him left and right. This was the price of being popular and he also knew very well that certain people will not only judge him by his skills or appearance, but also purely because a lot of people admired him. Right when your eyes first met, he also knew for sure that you were the type of person who does not necessarily fancy so-called popular people such as himself. Your fake smile paired with a faint confusion in your eyes and your terribly rigid posture told him all of this right away.

\- I’m [Y/N]. And you must be Oikawa-kun, I’ve already heard a lot about you.

Your voice was plain as you could not decide just yet whether you should let him know explicitly about how much you just cannot be bothered to give a shit about his status, or if you should hide it because maybe then he would think that you care even less. Your smile – as much as there was left on your face by the time you started speaking to him – conveyed the same dedicated disinterest. These pathetic first few seconds spent in each other’s presence were enough for you to cling to the idea of making him feel that you refuse to give a fuck, you just did not yet know how.

\- Oh, I bet. – He bit his lip with pride plastered all over his pretty face, which just pissed you off even more. – So you’re THE [Y/N]-chan, huh? I’ve heard a lot about you too. Nice to meet you.

He bowed his head a little which you returned haphazardly and only afterwards did you realize that he never once broke his gaze. His shameless confidence took you by surprise so much that you parted your lips slightly. He must have found your doe-eyed stare really entertaining because without speaking any more words he gave you the most beautiful and most disgusting grin as a reply. After regaining control over your face, you squeezed your handbag a little harder in your fist in and prayed no one would notice your defeat. You had to concentrate really hard to keep your cool and not let your anger and embarrassment show its pink color on your cheeks, but you were already probably too late.

\- Yeah… Whatever. Nice to meet you too.

You put your hair behind your ear and quickly turned around to join the rest of your friends at the noisy house party you both got invited to. You were so eager to turn around that you weren’t even sure if your friend kept talking to you or not, or even if Mr. Amazing said anything else to you. You did not want to be interested at all; your only goal was to get away from the situation as soon as humanly possible. Later during the night, you exchanged some uncomfortable glances back and forth. Well, they were probably more uncomfortable for you because Oikawa either had no real expression when he stared right into your soul through your eyes, or smiled at you just slightly like a distant painting in a cold museum, and neither of these two faces helped you calm down in any way. It was impossible to read him and sometimes you ended up talking to the same small group of people, but you did your best to avoid speaking to him. After all it was a huge mix of students from the dormitories, regardless of what faculty they belonged to, and even in that large crowd he managed to look at you mockingly. At least you interpreted his gaze as an attempt to mock you and he was indeed successful in doing so. You noticed that he delightfully chatted with others, acting like the kindest guy you could meet. Then why did he come off as such an annoyingly intimidating person to you?

The second time was way more fun. Oh, except it was more terrible for you. Thanks to you meeting him for the first time, you now had four entire weeks to be stressed out about seeing him again, as Aki managed to happily tell you right after the party how much he is looking forward to invite your close circle of friends to his humble apartment for a movie night. And yes, that included this smug asshole too. You politely nodded to your friend’s words while talking to him on the faculty’s corridor between classes. You even managed to tell him that you were also looking forward to it so, so, so much, that you suddenly had to excuse yourself to the nearest bathroom on the campus to wash your face and calm down.

You were not the most passionate person in the world, but it would be a lie to say that you were particularly soft or timid. You knew you were capable of having great reactions to unusual things and you knew how much you disliked the specific type of people Oikawa belonged to, but it was rare even for you to dislike someone this much. His presence stressed you out, your fight or flight responses were over the roof, and you could not decide whether the fear of him saying something you might not want to hear was bigger, or your disgust towards his self-assured and painfully confident way of carrying himself. You tried not looking at him that particular night, oh you did. You were not staring, not even for a second, you swear. But somehow, thanks to him always lurking around you like a predator with an angel’s smile, you managed to observe a few things. You remembered them all in the bathroom between splashes of ice-cold water hitting your face while gasping for air. With each shaky breath you had snippets of his movements popping up in your head. The way his body swayed when he walked around the room back at the party was impossible to ignore. You could not help but notice the way the lights and shadows moved back and forth on his skin, enhancing the curve of his ears, the silhouette of his neck, the exact shape of his shoulder blades peeking through his shirt when he moved his arms around to gesticulate through telling his stories.

He carried himself so gracefully it made your stomach twist into a knot because he should not have been aware of how _good_ he was. But he knew, you could do nothing about it but you wished you could make him forget about it for just one second. You want him to forget about his pride and dignity because of you. Even if it was simply your ridiculous lack of confidence making you so angry at everything he did, you still wanted to blame him and only him.

* * *

You put on the comfiest set of your “publicly acceptable” outfits – a simple pair of dark red jeans, a long, form fitting grey top, and a thin, floaty cardigan. You only had to walk a few blocks from the dormitories to get to Aki’s apartment. You purposefully did not pick prettier clothes for tonight. You did not want to give him even the slightest chance to think you were getting pretty for him. Even though you beat yourself up for being too self-assured to think The Oikawa Tooru would even pay any mind to what you were wearing. You kept going in circles in your head around him just like you did in the past weeks. You tried to get to the core of what made you so angry about him and why he did all these annoying things, only half-way realizing that he did not exactly do that many things actively. Were you going crazy? Was your mind playing tricks on you? Did you feel this way because he reminded you of someone you saw in a nightmare?

Thoughts of him kept popping into your head during the most inconvenient of times. Your morning coffee, lectures, while watching your favorite series, a dream on one occasion, and even at the most embarrassing times that you did not want to admit even existed with or without thoughts of him barging in on them. You did not know for sure which was worse – that you had absolutely no control over your thoughts because he reigned over them with that smug smile of his, or that you did not in fact give him any power over your mind, so you alone willingly invited him into your head in your most vulnerable moments. while chewing on these thoughts you arrived at Aki’s door and knocked on it with the silly rhythm you and your friends shared. It was a kind of tradition for you to knock on each other’s door like this, and just hearing the familiar little melody soothed your mind a little.

\- Whooooaaaah yeeeaaaah! She’s finally here!

Aki was the happiest guy on the planet whenever he had guests over and he was great at giving each one of them the biggest hugs when they arrived. You were no exception, so it was hard for you to stop yourself from laughing at his endearing enthusiasm when he opened his door for you, it also got a little difficult to keep a hold of the snacks and the beer you brought with yourself for the night. He was an affectionate and kind guy and you just could not for the life of you wrap your mind around why he was friends with someone like Oikawa, who was already sitting comfortably on your bestie’s couch when he turned around to wave at you lazily. He took your favorite spot you always, always occupied ever since the first time you and Aki pulled an all-nighter to talk about your past, your plans, and your most important memories. That couch was a haven for you, a place of comfort and security by your best friend’s side, which was apparently to be taken away by this particular guy.

After clinging to each other with Aki for a few seconds, you made sure to take your sweet time to take off your shoes because as soon as the effects of the calming embrace started to leave you, the dread of Oikawa’s presence was slowly creeping back into your mind and you really struggled to keep your composure. “Please, not now. I don’t want any of this.”

\- Nice spot, Oikawa-kun.

You pointed out half-jokingly after greeting everyone except him. Well, this could count as a greeting as well, right? Not that you thought he deserved a better one in the first place. You tried your hardest to mimic his shit eating grin as you stared down at him.

\- Ah, [Y/N]-chan? Good evening. Yeah… it’s a nice spot.

He gave you the brightest smile and the pure lack of anything malicious in his eyes scared you more than anything. You did not expect the man who was already painted in your mind as a demon to be this cheerful for seeing you.

\- Uhm, wanna share? Here!

He left you no time to respond as he squeezed a little space between himself and the arm of the sofa for you. The rest of the group urged you to finally take a seat because it was already 7 pm and they wanted to finish the movie before 10 because it was a school day. You didn’t really have a choice but to thank him and sit down quietly. You could feel him eyeing you up and down as you grabbed a bag of chips and a can of beer before positioning yourself in the not so big space he left you. You were not really allowed to complain however, as the living room was suited for about four people and there were nine of you. No one really had a particularly comfortable seat, for example poor Aki had to sit on the floor right in front of his girlfriend’s feet. It seemed there was no way for you to argue with their decision. Oikawa’s decision, to be exact.  
“Fuck this.”

\- Sorry.

You mumbled at him while the opening credits already started playing and you took your seat. Your legs were trembling so hard you were glad you did not fall straight onto Oikawa’s lap. You almost hoped he would not hear your apology even if it made you look rude for accidentally elbowing him while you clumsily sat down.

\- Huh? Did you say something?

The man turned to you with a low whisper. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. In fact, you could feel the heat of his entire body from your head to your toe as you were finally seated next to him. Your thighs slightly touched and even if there were layers of clothing between the two of you, this involuntary closeness was becoming too much for your senses. You tried to explain to yourself that he must feel so warm because he’s a sports guy, and you remembered reading something about metabolism and body temperature. It was something about the muscles, the abundance of energy in someone’s body. The energy in Oikawa Tooru’s body, that’s what you were feeling all over your skin in that moment. His slight movements sent unbearably soft shivers through your entire body making all the muscles tense up from the overwhelming sensations. The silhouette of his face in the dimly lit room with the tv screen’s reflections playing a series of colors on the corner of his eyes locked your consciousness into one place. Gradually everything else slipped away and the world was becoming painfully plain and simple. Your thoughts were slowly reduced to black-and-white thinking step by step, so letting your mind wandering about contemplating his stamina or his strength was getting more convenient for you. You must have taken too long to respond as he raised his brows at you with the faintest of smiles leaning closer, his lips almost touching your ear.

\- No need to be shy. You can talk to me, I know you’ve been dying to.

Oikawa’s words were so gentle they were barely whispering at this point. He breathed these two sharp and pointy sentences onto your neck and collar bones. They felt as though they cut right through your skin and flesh and all that was left in their place was ice cold sweat. He did not back away, not even for a second and you had no real way out, not that there could be a way for you to force any part of your body to move on its own at this point. On top of this you could expect no help at all. No one was paying you two any mind because everyone else was too glued to the screen, and the background music was loud enough to cover your whispers. You were suddenly in your own little bubble with him, caught in your safe space without any warning. You could see his smile getting wider as he held his ear closer to you to invite you to whisper something to him. You knew he would have loved to hear anything from your mouth at this point because he was enjoying himself so obviously. His chest was inches away from yours thanks to him turning almost all the way to face you. not even caring about what any of your friends would think of it – if they paid any attention to you two. You only now realized how tall this guy was, and even if he was not particularly heavily built, he was not scrawny either. He had a presence over you not just physically but also mentally and the fact that he might know that scared you so much you could feel the tears of anger building up in the back of your throat.

\- I just… I guess I said sorry. Sorry for elbowing… You.

Oikawa gave you a soft chuckle and gently shook his head, still close enough to rustle your hair a little with his breath. You did your best to calm down and inhaled slowly while you were scraping your mind for a comeback but to your greatest dismay you failed. Instead of taking a big breath of a calming fresh breeze your lungs and your head suddenly filled up with the scent of his cologne and a faint trace of shampoo. It was fresh, soapy, a little bit citrusy, and there was something else in the background, something more warm and earthy, almost animalic that flicked an undiscovered switch in your head. It wasn’t unpleasant at all, in fact it gave you faint goosebumps and you could swear it almost made you a little dizzy. You glanced at your can of beer and decided to open it right at that moment so you could give yourself a reason to feel lightheaded. He looked down at your hands fumbling with the can and it definitely did not help you opening it for the first, or second, or even the third time.

\- I’ve got this.

He opened the beer can in a blink of an eye, not even waiting for you to say yes or no, or to do anything to indicate to him that you were even okay with it. He firmly grabbed one of your trembling hands before placing the can back into it, and tilted his head to look you straight in the eye from a painfully small distance. His touch was confident but not rough. It certainly made you feel smaller than you actually were. He took a few seconds to shamelessly stare at your features and by his face you could not tell if he found you strange, if he was entertained by your reactions, or if he maybe – just maybe – admired the kind of face you made. He once again had his whispers trace your skin before you could say anything. This time his breath softly tickled your lips and your chin.

\- Is there anything else you want to tell me?

You opened your mouth and instinctively looked at his. You shook your head and took a long sip of your beer to try and cover your face. You didn’t notice until now how hot your cheeks were. After swallowing the drink you slowly turned your face back to him and gathered every last remaining piece of your dignity. Or maybe you just imagined you still had any left.

\- I don’t want to talk to you. You took my favorite spot and I don’t want to talk to you.

Your whisper was sharp and choppy, even your voice was shivering pathetically. You weren’t sure if Oikawa or you were more surprised by your words. Yes, it was true that you were angry at him for causing this situation but the way you said it almost sounded like you were a grumpy little kid angry at the big bad boy for taking your favorite toy on the playground. Oikawa shifted a little next to you, straightening himself up a bit more and now he was towering over you, looking beautiful and terrifying.

\- Well, sorry, _Princess_.

The way he looked down at you with pure, crystal clear satisfaction made you want to shriek but every sound got caught in your throat when he gave you that unadulterated honey-sweet trademark smile of his. You were sure it was the same exact face he used to charm just about each one of your friends who thought so highly of him, and you almost started to understand why it worked wonders. That smile alone would have been enough to convince a mad man to throw away his past and start making friends with butterflies. And there you were completely defeated, small, trembling, red in the face, and weak for whatever reason you did not wish to know. His words felt like needles in your chest and your stomach. There was a ball of fire forming inside your hips, slowly running up and down inside your body from your knees through your entire torso right up into your head and back down as you tried to form a sentence. Or just a word… Or just one single syllable, for fuck’s sake!

Oikawa smugly turned his head away from your wide-eyed face and pretended to watch the movie with the rest of your friends. You tried your best to follow suit and in just a few minutes you managed to drink up your can of beer. The small amount of alcohol did not really go into your head, you were too anxious to get even half as tipsy anyway. As the others were cheerfully exchanging reactions and memes throughout the film’s plot, you still found hard to follow despite being completely sober and unbearably aware of your surroundings. The only effect of the drink was that your posture was getting sloppy and without realizing, your right leg was completely pushed against Oikawa’s left leg all the way down from your hips to your ankle. You only noticed how close you got when you placed your now empty can onto the coffee table and leaned forward. Your hip rubbed against his and you could feel your face and ears getting hotter. You tried to slowly distance yourself but Oikawa followed, not that you had such a big area to run away to in the first place. You lifted your gaze and to your horror, he was smirking. You knew he saw you from the corner of his eyes, and his smirk even turned into a grin when he lifted up one of his arms to lazily drop it onto the back of the sofa behind you.

There was nowhere to go anymore. No matter how hard you tried to follow the movie, all you could pay attention to was Oikawa Tooru. His whole being surrounded you, and you were horrified of the thought that maybe he knew the way he tickled you with his presence all around your body and mind. You were merely there as a prey he could play around with anytime he wanted to. if he wanted to. Were you starting to feel so sloppy and shaky because you were ready to be devoured? Or was it because you felt so weak that you unconsciously moved with each of his breaths, letting your chest rise when he inhaled, and fall when he exhaled? You completely adapted to his rhythms in the matter of a few minutes, although you were not exactly capable of perceiving time correctly anymore. While involuntarily submitting to his movements you noticed that on certain spots on his skin you could feel his pulse, and you could swear they were enough to send their vibrations through your entire body. Just the tiniest of breaths, the smallest of chuckles and the mere pulse of his blood was enough to tear the control out of your hands.

He was an ocean with a terrifying depth and a menacing force you could not fight. Meanwhile, you were just a poor little wooden boat completely at his mercy, trying to find your way among the unrelenting waves. It was too late for you to realize that he invited you so eagerly to sit with him that evening to make you play regardless of what your plans were, and you were in _too deep_ already.


	2. Fanfare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❝...you had to avert your gaze immediately to avoid the unwavering awe in front of you.❞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤︎ I haven't written anything for years, and English is not my first language. If you decide to comment, please be gentle. Thank you!!! ❤︎
> 
> Yay! Chapter 2 is here! I hope you will like it :)

Luckily no one wanted to make a personal interview with you about what impressions the movie left on you because you would have had to come up with the plot on the spot and that almost would have been as embarrassing as the fact that your entire reality was filled to the brim with Oikawa Tooru. After everyone slowly got up to say their goodbyes and head home, you got a hold of yourself and with shaky legs, and a thin veil of sweat covering your entire body you stood up from your self-inflicted confinement and did not even look back. Not because you were a strong dame who just leaves men behind who attempt to get a reaction out of her. No, you left without even blinking at your tormentor because you were too scared to find out what kind of irritating grin he might have on his face this time. To be frank, at this point any kind of look from him would have made you either scream or cry, or maybe both. And that was something you could not let happen.

\- Uh can I use the bathroom?

You mumbled towards Aki with just a tinge of disappointment in your voice. He knew something was up, and he also immediately knew that you would probably tell him after you were ready to emerge from the bathroom.

\- Sure, no problem.

Both Aki and his girlfriend, Miki looked terribly anxious for you but they did not want to make the situation awkward for everyone involved, so they just made sure to cheerfully see everyone off while you collapsed onto the floor in front of the toilet. You buried your hot face into your sweaty hands and tried to calm down. It gradually got more and more quiet outside. To you dismay Oikawa was the last one to leave, you heard him giggling with the hosts for a little while, and talking to them about stuff you did not understand. You only got murmurs of his voice, speaking gently… and you hated every second of it. You waited on the cold bathroom floor impatiently and finally entered the small living room after everyone finally left.

\- What happened? Did you drink too much? Or—

\- I only had one beer. That’s not my problem.

You felt the heat rise in your temples for being angry at your body for not still being on fire while in complete panic mode, and also feeling frustrated with everyone besides your number once enemy for not helping you. It would have been so much easier to avoid this if someone, just anyone came to your help…

\- Then… What? Should we walk you home? Tell me…

Miki was grasping at straws at this point to keep the situation under control, even the smallest thing was so obviously enough to set you off.

\- Why do you act like you guys care? All you did was make out and joke around with everyone else except me, while not even giving a shit about how I felt! I had to put up with the greatest asshole in history and no one gave a shit. – You spat your words at them like venom, only to find complete confusion on them.

\- But we thought that you and Oikawa were really hitting it off. And I mean, anyone would be lucky if they had him running after them the way you do.

They were both smiling awkwardly but you were not. Maybe they thought that the two of you were flirting, maybe they all your friends already thought that you would be interested in someone like that guy. Is that really how they saw you? Lucky? You? Oikawa is running after YOU? How could they see what he was doing that way, and why would that make you lucky in the first place?

\- Do you both honestly think so lowly of me?

You did not want to believe that your closest friends would think you needed The Great Oikawa’s charity work in order to be happy, as if his attempts to mock and annoy you were some sort of rare divine blessings just because at least they are _some form of attention_ from a supposed demi-god lavished upon a mere mortal like yourself. You were not having this. Not wanting to listen to their answers you just grabbed your bag and stormed out the door. After all, deep down you knew you were in a mental state where there were no right answers anymore and you really did not want to hurt your friends more than you already might have.

On your way running down the stairs your steps got interrupted by a familiar silhouette.

\- Oh, watch out. Are you all right?

Oikawa jumped in front of you and put his hands on your shoulders gently to stop you from running into him at full speed. His palms were strong and soft, big enough to get a good hold of your body if they wanted to. His power was so obvious just from that one small touch that it almost averted your attention from how agitated you got by seeing him again so soon. Just when his spell started to wear off, he was right back at it again, not stopping even for a second to think about how you felt. Now that you were standing in front of each other, his height was way more obvious than earlier. You just wanted to squeeze your eyes shut but you instead brought up your gaze and looked him straight in the eye ready to discharge all the built up anger inside you. His face and voice were perfectly calm, soft, and kind. It was so confusing to see him like this after how he played with you not even an hour ago.

\- Why does it have to be you? – You snapped at him, making him immediately take his hands off from your shoulders.

\- What… why? What did I do?

Oikawa scratched the back of his head, making an irritatingly adorable face, acting like a little boy who just got a the first ever love letter in his life. Oh, he probably gets them all the time, maybe that’s why he’s so full of himself. Did he really think he could fool you with this little Prince Charming act?

\- You know damn well what you did.

\- Took your spot?

\- You are just acting dumb now, aren’t you?

\- Attempted to talk to you?

You let out a loud laugh and stared at Oikawa in disbelief for a few seconds.

\- Really? Are you really---

\- Turned you into a wet, trembling mess just by putting my arm around you?

His voice was more merciful and commanding than before. And how did he know anyway? It was not your fault if you got wet. You did not want to, so even if you did, it was just your body playing tricks on you. He was too close the entire time and he is a guy after all, the entire thing was involuntary for you. You wanted to give him all the possible logical explanations as to why you might have reacted to him that way but he was surrounded in an unfamiliar sense of seriousness and his eyes were covered with a glimmer you did not understand. You knew it was no use to try and convince him that he was wrong. First of all, because he was not.

\- Fuck you.

\- Feel free.

Suddenly his expression turned playful again without taking off any edge of his tone and you had to avert your gaze immediately to avoid the unwavering awe in front of you.

\- Look, [Y/N]… I’m sorry if I got a little too trigger-happy back at Aki’s place. I just really thought you liked me back as hard as I do. – Oikawa let out a deep sigh while slowly walking towards you – Back when we first met, I noticed you checking me out whenever I checked you out, so I thought you made your wishes quite obvious. And I wanted to do the same…

He took another step in your direction, just like your memories coming back to you from that party. You remembered him doing a lot of small things – holding a plastic cup, crossing his legs while sitting on a sofa, fixing his hair – maybe you really did look at him a lot, but it was only because he kept showing up your proximity all the time.  
You could not help it, gazelles scan their surroundings for lions too, right?

\- I thought you would like it if I showed you just how serious I was…

He bowed down a little to try and look at your face. He brushed a few strands of hair away from your face but you were too flustered and feeble to look directly at him. You almost leaned into his touch but stopped yourself from acting upon your craving despite the heat from his hands and his perfume pulling you with a sickening gravity.

\- So do you want me to take it slow, or do you want me to take you home right now? I’m willing to do whichever hits the spot, you know.

Oikawa’s words and the softest of chuckles he ended his sentence with sent tickles through your flesh and bones and you visibly trembled from head to toe – how embarrassing. His breath hitched for a second upon seeing your delicate reaction. He started leaning in closer and he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself before he got your final approval.  
He bit his plump lower lip with his perfect teeth right in front of you.  
He had his plump lips right in front of you.  
His lips right in front of you.  
His lips.  
They were close enough to burn yours with their warmth and he knew exactly what he was doing to you. The invisible chains between your bodies got so tight that they could suffocate you at any second, and you had no other choice but to break them as fast as possible. You stepped backwards, sighing sharply at the absence of his fingertips.

\- Who do you think you are?!

Your louder than intended words echoed on the quiet street, bringing a heavy and stomach-turning silence onto both of you. Oikawa did not even have the chance to straighten up yet and you were already yelling at him, while a moment ago you were standing right in front of him so very quietly that he was sure he could just take half a step forward and change your mind about how much and in what exact way you want to make him obey you.

\- No, don’t even say anything. Please. Just stay quiet. – Your shaky breaths and the fact that your knees could barely hold on at this point did not help your speech, but you continued – You have already said too much… Do you really want me to believe even a word you said? Do you find this whole situation funny? Do you think I’m just one of your fangirls dying to get a taste of the almighty Oikawa-sama?

\- Ah, Unfortunately no. I just—

\- Don’t say a word! I don’t want to hear it!

You squeezed your eyes shut and put your palms onto your ears. The thought of looking completely ridiculous crossed your mind for a second but your judgement was way too clouded by a thousand different shades of tension building up inside you. You just wanted all these intense feelings to stop.

\- Then I guess I should just take it slow. Sorry for being so brash. I misunderstood your cues. – Oikawa bowed lower than he has ever done in front of you and held his posture as such for some seconds that probably felt longer than they were. You stared in disbelief, waiting for him to look up at you laughing, or say that he was just joking, but it did not happen. Instead, he kept his eyes on the ground respectfully, with a statuesque seriousness painted on his presence – Good night, [Y/N]-chan. Be careful on your way home.

In those few seconds he was so unbearably gentle that you took a step forward and almost – just almost – asked him to wait a little before leaving. The way he turned around and started walking away made you dizzy with worry and hope. For a split second you wanted him to stay, you wanted to tell him how you changed your mind, that he can maybe just _be_ there a little longer, but then you realized that there would be one more step from his direction, and maybe one more from yours, and many-many more from both of you, and then you would end up in the same situation again, and maybe even beyond that. Your lips and arms felt too heavy at this point to know for sure that you could tell him off for wanting something you didn’t even want to think of, or if you could push him away if you found him making you stare hopelessly into those perfect chocolate-caramel eyes again.

* * *

Your used-to-be-favorite song’s tunes woke you up around 8 AM the next day. It was only your used-to-be-favorite song by now because you were stupid enough to set it as your alarm tone in hopes that it would give you more motivation to get up each morning. You obviously failed with that. You dragged your hands around lazily under your pillow to finally find your phone only to see a bunch of notifications from Aki and Miki. The last one was delivered around 3 AM and your heart sunk at the thought of them worrying about you even after how ungrateful you were to them last night. When you were done saying your prayers and scraping enough of your voice together to be able to speak to Aki on the phone, you apologized for at least half an hour, getting on the brink of crying several times. You really did feel terrible about the entire evening and at this point if they told you to just disappear you would have understood completely. However, they did not want to turn away from you and they assured you that you were still extremely important for each other.

\- I don’t even deserve you guys… - You mumbled quietly.

\- Ah stop it, [Y/N]. If you really want to make it right, just buy a bottle of that really good Italian stuff and we’re good… Wait… Now that I think about it, I really wanted to ask you to do something.

\- I’m listening! I’ll do anything! – You were so eager you got a chuckle out of your friend.

\- That’s great news! Great news… Okay, look, Oikawa-chan forgot his shirt here at my place yesterday. You see, he was running late and he sorta sprinted all the way from the campus last night to make sure he wouldn’t be late! Can you believe that? What a crazy guy, haha… Anyway, he had to take a shower and change… – Aki was speaking so cheerfully that you decided to let your shock take over your vocal chords so that you would not even try to make him shut up about Oikawa. Now you were not only choked into silence by the embarrassment of having been an ass last night but also by hearing that one name. Not to mention the context of sweating and showering… Pictures of him from last night and from scenarios that never happened flooded your brain like a plague. And Aki just kept going on and on – And you know a little after you ran off he called us and he was also kinda worried and… I just thought that I’d leave that stupid shirt with you. All right?

\- With… with me. The shirt. Yes, of course. Anytime…

\- You are the sweetest! I’ll drop by in a second. Bye! – And he hung up.

It was hard to mask your defeat when Aki plopped the bright red shirt into your hands, leaving you with the biggest grin on his face. Was he planning this? You hoped from the deepest corner of your heart that he didn’t. It was even harder to act like you still had any dignity left when you sat down on your bed all alone and sunk your face into the Oikawa’s shirt. It was soft, it was red, rather fashionable. He must have looked acceptable in it. Not that he was your type, you never really liked guys like him, he was too pretty and clean-cut for your tastes. But this shirt, this color…

The scent was similar to what you smelled on him last night, except there was less freshness and more sweat. And you were loving it.

What the hell were you doing? You were just told that he wore it while running, it was supposed to be sweaty and smelly and disgusting. And yet you loved it and you could not stop yourself from getting a scent it again and again.

What does he look like when his sweat glues his hair onto his forehead?

It must have been the hormones. This was not rational and neither was taking off your pajama bottoms or taking that piece of clothing with you to the bed. You felt the first wave of shame as you imagined him watching you from the corner and grinning at your pathetic attempt at burning this all away. Could you be cleansed from these thoughts? Maybe they were not even yours in the first place. Oh yeah, he would just smirk at you with those perfect lips.

You almost tasted them last night.

You could cover your entire body with his shirt if you just put the collar to your face – it smelled the best there anyway. Or the worst. Either way, it desecrated your thoughts beautifully. If you closed your eyes and moved very carefully, it almost felt like a thousand fingertips were tickling you.

He looks like the kind of guy who kisses softly and takes you hard.

You just had to get it out of your system and all of this would stop. There was no real attraction after all. There couldn’t be. At this point you didn’t need your pajama top either, it felt way better if you could just rub his scent all over yourself, from your head to your toes. just the way it makes you feel right.

You never knew your nipples could be this sensitive against a simple shirt.

The first time a single digit playing on your clit took you over the edge way faster than expected. He mercilessly drowned your entire consciousness with his presence just like last night, but this time he did this without even being present.  
The second time you realized that saying his first name made you shiver even faster than just thinking of him. Why did he give you the best orgasms you’ve had for years while not even touching you? You rarely moaned out loud while going at it on your own and this was one of those rare occasions when you whimpered after each of your highs but there was no one you could beg to.

You wondered if he was loud too. Oh he must sound really good.

Two fingers inside you, your sweat mixing with his on the painfully red fabric. It was sticking to your skin so well and you loved the thought of him marking you with his scent. He would be so satisfied, he would maybe even say something sweet just like he did last night when he held you so gently just for a few moments.

What would his hands do right now? Would they go slow? Fast?  
Maybe in circles, just like that…?

You cursed at yourself for not getting a toy to at least try and imitate the real thing. Your hands were surely not enough – because there was no way a guy could have that kind of absolute confidence with a small cock. Imagining his weight on top of you for the third time worked wonders.  
Adding one more finger for the fourth time worked even better.  
And for the fifth time you were still loving it all the same.

However, the clarity you wanted to catch so bad would not come. You were already getting sore from going at it for hours now and not even god knows when the last time was when you had to do something like that with yourself. Either way, this time it did not work. Your body kept screaming at you for more.

Was he thinking of you that way too?

* * *

You left your dorm room for an evening seminar, leaving the shirt hanged out to dry as the single piece of clothing you washed with your two shameless hands a soon as you could walk out of bed that day. Making your way to the lecture was the same walk of shame as the one you took from your bedroom to the bathroom sink to try and wash away the scent of lust and guilt. There was no way of purging any of this either from the fabric or yourself, and it devastated you. Even sitting down reminded you of your well spent morning and you couldn’t wait to get home and watch your favorite series, play some videogames, maybe try and study – anything to take your mind off from thinking about Oikawa and how much more sore you would be if he did all the things you kept thinking about repeatedly. You hated him for it.

By the time you got home from your lecture the exhaustion started kicking in and you wanted nothing more than getting a good, long sleep. Luckily the shirt was dry and pristine so you could put it in a bag and hide it in one of your drawers so that you did not have to see it and feel like there was Oikawa himself looking at you with that horrifyingly magnetic expression. You took a long, scorching hot shower before climbing under your blanket only to find your phone’s light blinking softly. Your stomach started feeling heavier, you had a really bad feeling. You took a deep breath before opening the latest conversation.

Your gut was right.

  * 16:30 T00ru: heeeey Princess of Sass [Y/N]-sama, let me cordially invite you to sit with my humble self in the near future as the most precious one of my garments currently resides in your splendid kingdom and i simply cannot live without it.
  * 16:33 T00ru: lol I can’t do this right 😊 imma stop! did you at least laugh? I think it was funny as hell. ^^
  * 17:27 T00ru: anyway are you still mad at me? ☹ haha no need to talk about it tho! I just rly need that shirt back. pls don’t cut it into pieces!!! 😉
  * 19:48 T00ru: u there? at least pls tell me if I have to buy a new one *sniffsniff* ☹ ☹ ☹
  * 20:14 T00ru: I know what your favorite kind of chocolate is 😊 wanna make a deal?? 😉



You couldn’t help but giggle at Oikawa’s attempt at being a good boy – and apparently even your freidns helped him. Slowly you felt your anger slipping away but there was no way you were to let go of it so quickly. He was doing pretty great though, you had to admit that.  
Of course you did not want to give him the satisfaction of getting away with calling you _that name_ again just like that… Two can play a game after all, and you were not going to make any of this easy for him.

  * _‘[Y/N]’ is now ‘not_a_princess’_
  * 20:27 not_a_princess: don’t worry, I didn’t do anything to it.
  * 20:28 not_a_princess: I even washed it for you. it smelled like a zoo lmao
  * _T00ru is typing…_



You had to turn the screen away from you immediately. Even if you knew he could not see you, your embarrassment was out of this world. Your heart was racing because of the mere thought of him reacting to your text right away. Was he that eager to text you? No, he was probably just bored out of his mind.  
Your cheeks turned red like that one shirt that did not smell unpleasant at all. Oh you prayed he would never find out...

  * 20:28 T00ru: gotta love your new screenname. i’m honored. :P
  * 20:29 T00ru: so when can I drop by?
  * 20:29 T00ru: is tomorrow good? i promise i won’t smell like a zoo 😉



You found it more and more difficult to breathe. You could not possibly look into his eyes that soon after what you have done today. Just thinking about seeing him made you want to go at it again but that was so stupid, you did not like him, it was a simple chemical reaction. No matter how pretty, witty, or funny he could be, he was not your type. It was also just a mere coincidence that he had the unrelenting eagerness to get you to submit to him and the brute force of pure carnal draw between the two of you. It could have been just about anyone else if they had this same exact combination. So it was not really him what made you want to say yes to things you did not even really know yet. It was all just the result of a stupid, stupid stroke of luck on his part.  
He surely did this to all the other girls too, you were not special.  
He was not special.

  * 20:33 not_a_princess: no. I need a few days to study
  * 20:33 T00ru: huh? the midterm exams just ended. your teachers must be nuts to give you that much work right now ☹
  * 20:34 not_a_princess: that’s how it is. next week might be okay though.
  * 20:34 not_a_princess: you come here, get your stuff, you go.
  * 20:35 T00ru: and pay you with chocolate. right! Tuesday it is then! 😉
  * 20:36 not_a_princess: stop winking.
  * 20:36 T00ru: why? 😉
  * 20:36 T00ru: 😉 😉 😉
  * 20:37 not_a_princess: I’m gonna block you.
  * 20:38 T00ru: Tuesday, 7 PM! yes or no?
  * 20:39 T00ru: or maybe you wanna keep it? but it doesn’t even smell like me anymore… :P
  * 20:40 not_a_princess: Tuesday 6.30 PM. bye
  * 20:40 T00ru: talk to you later. sweet dreams 😉



It was impossible to get that stupid grin off your face, and you just could not stop beating yourself up about it. Another sleepless night, another defeat, another wave of shame.

This was not special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤︎ I haven't written anything for years, and English is not my first language. If you decide to comment, please be gentle. Thank you!!! ❤︎


	3. Veneration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❝You see, I’m hanging on your words here, ready to do whatever you say… I’m making this easy for you on purpose.❞

You found it extremely difficult to fall asleep the night you first texted. You were anxious to know whether he will really come to get his shirt or if this whole thing was just a ruse to see just how bad you wanted to see him… But you did not, you just wanted to get rid of the stupid shirt and these weird feelings you were still having. The fact that you kept finding yourself grinning against your pillow until dawn did not help.

“I hate him even more…”

The only reason you were distracted during your Friday lectures was only because you did not get enough sleep and also because you managed to tire yourself out immensely the day before. Not that you wanted to think about that particular event, but it was still a better option. Your body was too exhausted so it was no wonder your mind simply followed suit, it was perfectly logical. This was of course also the reason for you not noticing earlier that you got a huge stain of curry on your pale blue top during lunch and that was exactly why in the end one of your teachers had to point it out during your evening seminar. It was not terribly embarrassing, but you were definitely not a fan of the thought that you had done a fair amount of walking around town in that outfit by then. Maybe there were a lot of people laughing at you for wearing a dirty top, or maybe they were laughing at you because they _knew_. The knew… well, you were not exactly sure what, but you did not want to lift the carpet in your mind and check what was hiding underneath it.

By the time you got back to our dorm room you only had the energy to plop onto your bed and think about what the hell you should do about this all. Was there any point in waiting until Tuesday? Would he even really come? You visualized your weekend in the most pessimistic way possible and you were not ready to go through the suffering you expected. You wanted to end it. Right then and there. And there was only one way. You picked up your phone and kept re-reading the short conversation from yesterday. It sent weird vibrations through your stomach. Why were you doing this to yourself, again? There was obviously no point in searching for answers in a conversation where you did not even ask any questions. You squeezed all of your annoyance towards yourself into a long, dragged-out sigh and you made the decision to just get over with it regardless of what might happen.

After just a few seconds of the dialing tune Oikawa picked up. You clenched your teeth at his voice, it was already getting too much for you after his first few words.

\- Hi [Y/N]-chan! Did you miss me?

\- Uh… no…

\- Uhum… I see.

There was silence on both ends of the line until the man started chuckling quietly.

\- Is there anything you would like to tell me then?

You could hear his grin. And you could also imagine it. His smiling voice against your ear was a fantastic and terrible combination with the dimly illuminated room. The weather was getting warmer and the days were getting longer at this time of the year. Your entire room started taking a vivid orange hue. This seemed to be the exact color of the question you just failed to swallow.

\- Can you maybe just… Come here tonight?

Oikawa fell completely silent for a few seconds and you squeezed your eyes shut because you could swear the ceiling was about to fall onto you. Why did you even have to make this call?

\- And why would I do that?

His voice was so low, so dark and full of everything you want to hide from and run towards. His words were dragged out and breathy, and you almost whimpered in response because it took too much of your power to get anything else out of your throat. You needed a few really long seconds to do that.

\- Just to give you your stupid shirt. I just… I have other things to worry about, and I can’t… I can’t hold onto it. I mean it’s not mine, I…

\- Mhm… But you sound scared. I can’t just go there and scare you to death, can I?

\- I’m not…

\- What are you more scared of? That I get up right now and knock on your door within an hour, or that I say no?

You jumped up from your bed because you could not take the amount of anger just lying there. You had to walk around stomping louder with every circle you made in your room.

\- Haha… Scared? Oh you don’t have that kind of power. – You tried to sound confident but instead just sounded extremely pissed off. Well, you were.

\- What power? I was not talking about power. I was only talking about that cute face you make when you don’t know how to… Ugh, I’ll just explain in person. Gonna be there in a few!

His giggle grabbed you by the neck and wrangled you around until your head started spinning. There was no way for you to tell where exactly your heart was beating at this point because you were feeling it all the way from your bellybutton to your forehead. You froze like a statue, staring at the lazily setting sun through your window as if you were looking for an answer there.

Oh God, he was _good_.

\- No! – You protested sharply.

\- Look, I’m free tonight, so I’m down. You see, I’m hanging on your words here, ready to do whatever you say… I’m making this easy for you on purpose.

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the entire situation. What about this whole thing was made easy for you?

\- Huh? What’s so funny? – He sounded confused, probably not expecting this reaction.

\- You. You are funny. Anyway, you are being way too annoying again, so I decided you will have to wait until Tuesday after all to get this ugly shirt back. I mean… Are you seriously wearing this out in the public? Unironically? Ugh…

\- Ouch! That was cold-hearted [Y/N]-chaaaaan... – He was good at whining like a hurt little boy. It was low-key cute, but you also wanted to slap him just a tiny bit. – But I like it when you have that attitude. It kinda turns me on.

And with that your cockiness flied right out the window with the last rays of the Sun. He sounded genuine and based on how shameless he was about everything so far, you wouldn’t have doubted that he did in fact just tell you what turns him on when it comes to you.

_You turned him on._

\- I… I didn’t want to know that. Please calm down by Tuesday. – Did he hear your slight stutter at the end of the sentence or that your whole being was trembling like a leaf because of him again? Maybe you did not really hate it when he talked like that.

You heard a thud and some fumbling on the other end of the line.

\- Mmmmh… Haaaahh aahhnn… Oh sorry, I was just stretching my arms. It feels great to finally lie down after such a long, long day. Don’t you think? – You knew, as he told you, that he only made those sounds because he stretched himself out on his bed but **fuck** , did you start replaying that voice in your head and imagine if that’s what he sounded like… – Are you in your bed, too? – He asked so casually that you suddenly did not even know where you were. You had to look around for a bit and that was when you realized that you were standing in the middle of your dark room like a fool.

\- No. It’s way too early for that. Besides, I have a lot of homew-- – You stated as coldly as possible when you were suddenly interrupted by a beep on your phone. You looked at it, squinting at the sudden light and saw the notification: “T00ru sent you a picture”. Oh no. – What the hell is this?!

\- Open it, Princess.

\- I swear if you say this word one more time I’ll hang up and burn your shirt with you in it.

\- Okay, okay I’m sorry! Shit, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Just… Open it. Pretty please with cherry on top? Pleeease. – He sounded like he was begging but you knew he was not. People in winning positions rarely do that, and he was trained well to be a winner. And you hated him for it even more.

You took a deep breath and muttered something under your breath along the lines of “I’ll kill you if this is a fucking meme…” but when you opened the image you suddenly ran out of words. It was a picture of Oikawa’s smug face but this time with a pair of glasses. At first that was enough to make some of your muscles tense up in the most unexpected places, but soon you realized he must have just taken this selfie just a few seconds ago. He was lying on his back, surrounded by some pillows with one of his arms thrown above his head, while he took the selfie holding the phone with the other one. He was only wearing a sleeveless, form-fitting top, his hair was messy, and he looked a little tired. He had a faint flush on his cheeks that you really tried to ignore. You did not want to remember him saying that he was getting turned on, and maybe – just maybe – therefore he looked like that. Until now you didn’t know you wanted to see pictures of him like this, but something in the back of your mind started going off in a certain direction and you were desperately searching for the power to stop it. Your stupid, flesh-starved eyes wandered from his tired gaze onto his pretty little nose, his gently smiling lips, the perfectly shaped jawline, his Adam’s apple, and next came the accentuated collar bones… You had to stop looking further down, but you knew you were in for a ride because it was a full torso picture. Damn him for having those ridiculously his long arms…

You had to sit down onto your bed, being defeated by him once again.

“Oh God, I hope I at least don’t stain my fucking bedsheets…”

\- Huh? No reaction?

\- Please go to sleep and make sure to wear something more decent when you come over to get your ugly shirt back. Read a fashion magazine or something! Bye!

And with that you not only hung up but also threw your phone into the laundry fort towering on one of your chairs. You wrapped yourself into your blanket like a burrito and you did not want to anywhere for a century. Maybe then all your embarrassment would go away, and it might also be enough time for your body to stop painfully throbbing from this cloying cocktail of yearning and ridicule. In the end you were too scared to open the picture but you were also too scared to delete it.

The entire weekend just dragged along as slowly as if you were watching a pine tree grow in real time. The mornings did not feel like mornings, your routines just did not seem to work anymore, and no matter what you tried to do, you kept spacing out. Even when you did manage to force some thoughts into your head, they were always all about one person. You also refused to check your texts because you got too self-conscious after how stupid you were acting on Friday. You cursed at yourself for calling him that night, and for making yourself hear that voice saying those things in that manner and making you feel the way only he knew. In retrospect everything was painfully obvious. You should have known there was no way that he would have just calmly said yes and drop by to rid you of the soft, red scent memory you so despised, so you only had yourself to thank for it. You could not blame him this time at all because you willingly served yourself on a silver platter so that he could play with you for a bit, and understandably he did. He was not the kind of person to refuse an offer like that. You wanted to scream, run into a wall, yell at him, or just get into the position where you would look down at him and see the same thing you saw on that picture…

Falling asleep got harder each time, regardless of whether you tried to shut yourself out of reality during the day or night, everything reminded you of Oikawa’s existence in different ways. There was no escape and you were getting worn out by this constant struggle

Your fingers were entwined in silky strands of hair, you clung onto them as if they were your last chance to save you from falling into the depths of your moans. You felt like dying but you could not stop yourself from pulling him closer with your arms and your legs wrapped around his hips. Those sweet, firm hips that were moving up and down, bringing you closer to—

“Goooood morning! This iiiiiis the 6 AM news brought to you by Mari and Goro, the morning duo!”

Maybe setting your alarm to radio mode was not the best idea after all. At least it woke you up, but why did it have to happen like that? Just when you were about to get some satisfaction without having to blame yourself for it, or letting him touch you. Still wet and hot from your dream you thought of once again giving in to your desires, but you were going to be stronger than that this time. Instead you rolled around and finally grabbed your phone to check all the messages you purposefully missed for two days. There were 16 notifications, all from one specific person – Yeah, it seems everyone in your circle of friends except you and Oikawa was busy banging someone the entire weekend. You did not even want to pretend how jealous this made you at this point.

  * _Saturday_
  * 11:35 T00rou: hey! look at this enormous milk loaf! it’s as big as my head! I’m gonna eat it all for lunch. I do what I want. hahaha!



There was indeed a picture of Oikawa with the stupidest grin, holding a scary-looking piece of milk bread next to his head. How the hell did he stay this skinny if he ate like that? You had to laugh at the picture and his enthusiasm.

  * 11:54 T00rou: I ate it… I feel sick. why are adults allowed to do whatever they want? :’(
  * 13:21 T00rou: what were you having for lunch? or breakfast? maybe you’re lazier than I thought and just slept in… hmm…
  * 14:00 T00rou: it’s the picture, right?
  * 14:00 T00rou: maybe I should send you stuff like I did yesterday~~
  * 14:01 T00rou: just kidding. I don’t want you to look at that stuff…
  * 14:03 T00rou: unless… 😉
  * 14:05 T00rou: will you block me if I keep winking? 😉 😉 😉
  * 22:14 T00rou: ah [Y/N]-chan, it seems you are not that lazy after all… I bet you didn’t even sleep in. you’re memorizing an entire library like a good student, huh?
  * 22:16 T00rou: am I gonna have to call you [Y/N]-senpai? do you do tutoring?
  * 22: 17 T00rou: not that I need it or anything but you know… 😉
  * _Sunday_
  * 00:35 T00rou: AIGHT I’m sure you’re still drowning in books… ☹
  * 00:38 T00rou: I drew this picture of you! tell me if you like it or else… hm hm hm…



He surprisingly managed to draw you pretty well despite the drawing itself not being necessarily aesthetically pleasing as it was just a simple stick figure. Your serious expression was on point, and he almost guessed the size of the usual pile of books on your desk. You wanted to chuckle but that familiar heaviness in your stomach dragged you back into reality for a second.

  * 09:43 T00rou: good morning! do you want to see my pjs?
  * 14:55 T00rou: nevermind, I’ve already changed into normal clothes ☹
  * 23:21 T00rou: well, I’ll see you on Tuesday! don’t forget to be home. okay? I’ll be nice, I promise. pinky promise. no winking!



You weren’t even thinking when you hugged your stupid phone to your chest. Of course, you only needed a moment to realize, and you kicked around under your blanket for a little while out of sheer frustration before gathering yourself to write a reply.

  * 06:05 not_a_princess: yep, 6.30 pm.
  * 06:07 not_a_princess: and please don’t overdose on pastries.



You let out a shaky sigh before getting ready for the week. As usual, Monday was a torture, but as a special surprise, Tuesday was even worse this time. You did everything you could to distract yourself from the panic you felt about the evening, but you graciously failed – again – before your second lecture. You excused yourself saying that you were not feeling well, which was sort of true, and your professor let you go home that day. Now you had about eight whole hours to clean up your room, wax the most crucial places, wash your hair, look for a presentable set of clothes, and dig up that one perfume that kind of makes you feel like a stripper. You rarely wore that one but when you always went to sleep with more experiences than the day before. It was already past 6 when you realized you acted like you were preparing for a date. A rather in-depth one on top of that. You shook your head in embarrassment, eyeing yourself up and down in the mirror. You were not exactly wearing party clothes, but you were quite obviously looking way better than your regular self. Was that a tinge of confidence you just felt, or was it just misplaced excitement?

A few knocks on your door shook you awake all of a sudden.

“Oh shit. It’s him.”

When you looked back into the mirror for a second, everything was written on your face. Despair, lust, rage, shame, defeat, and even delicate traces of happiness. You heard a knock once again so you decided to head to your door and open it as if it was on par with Pandora’s box. Even if you knew _who_ was standing on the other side, you had no idea _what_ was awaiting you.

By the time you opened the door, Oikawa was already typing something on his phone. You were not sure if you caught a glimpse of worry on his face because as soon as he noticed you standing in front of him, he gave you a smile others get paid for in a toothpaste commercial. He really did look like some kind of a prince from a children’s book. Or an adult’s book… You have not decided yet. It was ridiculous, it even made you smile a little.

\- [Y/N]-chan. We finally speak!

\- Mhm. Yeah, indeed. Uh, wait here, I’ll get your shirt…

\- Oh. Are you not even going to invite me in?

His needy voice stopped you in your tracks for a second. Indeed, why would you not invite him in? You prepared for all the possibilities after all, even if you hated to admit it. Not that you explicitly thought of anything in particular. You swore you acted on autopilot the entire day.

\- Well, come in then.

You could not even believe your own words, but the situation did not leave much time for you to think about whether the decision was right or wrong. The two of you were soon standing in your bedroom. You turned around slowly to face him and tried not to stare too obviously, but his tight black jeans and dark grey turtleneck made it more challenging than expected. He should not have been allowed to wear this, he was so obviously baiting you to look at his body that you wanted to just kick him out for being such a brat to you. On the other hand, he was not worried about getting caught at all. He was eating you up with his eyes with that typical self-assured grin of him. It was a trademark at this point, and you were so incredibly mad about it, but at the same time you loved the attention. Was he going to use his hands where he looked just now? Just the pure thought of it almost made you fall over your own feet.

\- So, I’m finally here. – He tilted his head slightly and walked up to you. His long, slim legs resembled some sort of predator, and his smooth movements matched the image perfectly. He was coming for you and you had no say in it. Just seeing him taking those few steps made you want to fall onto the floor and cry about how much you hated the past few days. You wanted to grab him and be mad at him, feel bad about it right in the next second, and let him rip that rampage out of you. You just wanted Oikawa to come closer, closer than physically possible and reach something inside of you so you could be freed of the clasp of iron claws you had going through your palms and your forehead that stopped you from doing or saying anything.

– Is there anything I can do for you besides getting that ugly shirt off your hands?

Why the hell did he have to ask that? Your eyes widened, and now that he was standing right in front of you, so dangerously close once again, you saw all his expressions too well. He had a threatening glaze over his eyes that told you he was ready to do just about anything if you gave him the right signal. And if you did, you knew you were never going to be the same again. He would destroy you for anyone coming after him, because there was no way for you to believe there was anyone else in this world who could make you feel as agitated and wanton as he could only in a matter of a few meetings. Hell, you didn’t even know what his favorite color was, but you were completely under his spell. You tried to avert your gaze but at that moment there was nothing else in this world besides him. So where would you look anyway?

\- No.

Your whisper was so miserable, it made Oikawa pout instantly. He reached up to caress your cheeks with his index finger, gently going from one side to the other, softly grazing your chin as if you were a wee kitten. The goosebumps you were getting from this all over you were too obvious. Your clothes covered a fair amount of your skin, but your forearms and just enough of your neck were exposed. It was impossible for him to miss it. He hummed at your reaction and leaned closer, letting his forehead slightly touch yours.

\- Sssh. It’s okay. You know I won’t hurt you.

You could not look at him directly but you knew how gentle his expresson was. Almost as soft and captivating as his voice. It was so much more intense in real life than on the phone. His voice almost turned you into ashes before, and it was all of it but a thousand times more powerful. You were already panting and shaking and there was not enough distance between you to hide behind anything. There was no one else around, there was no noisy movie in the background, or a large street where at least public decency would stop either of you from throwing your thoughts into the trash.

His fingertip slowly slid down from your chin onto your neck but he was barely touching you. He never took his eyes off your face, he wanted to grasp every little change in your expression, he had to hear even the smallest gasps from you. There was pure obsession in his gaze, ready to drink up all your feelings and use them against you in the most heavenly ways.

\- Do you _hate_ it?

He stopped his finger right between your breasts. Your nipples were already so hard and sensitive that even this slight pressure against your top was enough to stimulate them. And it was him who touched you this time. It was happening, he was smiling, and you were burning from the inside out.

\- I… I don’t know…

\- Hmm. Sweet. – He bit his lip and chuckled softly – Then, do you _like_ it?

His finger travelled further slowly, faintly touching your ribs and finally circling over your bellybutton through your clothes, never touching you enough to actually make you feel his finger putting any pressure on your sensitive skin. Maybe he knew that these featherlight movements that barely imitated real touches were already more than enough to make you weak.

\- How… How can you ask something like that?

Your mewled quietly. You felt so pathetic, but you slowly started to completely let go of the idea that you ever wanted to come out of this situation with any dignity left. You did not even really want to get out at this point. He held up your chin with his free hand and made you look into his eyes. Your noses almost touched and your mind went blank. He was so compelling at that moment that you instantly regretted questioning his reasons.

\- I want to hear you say it.

\- I… what... do I… what… say…

He let out a throaty moan through his teeth that shook you from your skin to your guts. There was so much brute force in his voice that you suddenly could not believe how this fashionable pretty boy could sink to such animalic depths. You felt the vibrations of his groan it in your clit and inside your head you were begging to get more of this side of him. You were addicted after the first time.

\- I could do this forever. – His lips almost touched yours as he got even closer and whispered sharply – I will take it slow for you, [Y/N]-chan. So slow that it will break you. And you will say the words I want to hear. And after that, there will be nothing stopping me.

One of his hands grabbed your waist hard while the other pulled on your hair firmly to make you face him properly.

-Eyes on me, Princess.

You obeyed instantly and before you could say yes, his lips were pressed against your right cheek. It only lasted a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. A whimper escaped your lips and you had to grab his firm shoulders to get a little support so you at least would not collapse. His hold on you turned into a full embrace as he pulled you close. You pressed your face against his chest, inhaling that intoxicating scent that drove you crazy for the first time too. You slowly wrapped your hands around his back, slightly caressing the line of his spine and his shoulder blades. You could feel him shivering from your touch and it gave you a silver lining of victory.

He was going crazy just as much as you. _He did want you._

\- I will not make you do anything you are not yet prepared for, okay? – His voice was hoarse but gentle against your ears, and you gave him a small nod as a reply. He loosened the hug and looked at you again. His face had a slight pink shade to it and you didn’t know it was possible, but it made him look even more attractive. – So let’s just remember this. I will not hold back from now on. I will make you fall for me. – He said, smiling at you with beaming confidence and you could only smile back at him the same way. – Take care, [Y/N]-chan. I’ll be back when you are ready.

He pressed a kiss onto your forehead and gently let go of you before walking out the door and waving at you one last time. You stood there in the middle of your room for a few minutes before your mind started registering everything that has been said and done to you, one by one. Your knees finally gave up and you collapsed onto the floor.

_He might be special._


	4. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There was something in his question that sounded more familiar than you wanted to admit, and you felt a hint of shame for adoring every single syllalbe in these words."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh sorry guys, I thought I would never finish this chapter. The past few weeks were HECTIC. But here we are. Whoah!!!

It was not the first time he pissed you off and based on the little past you had with him by this point you were almost a hundred percent sure that it was not going to be the last either. And now you made yourself angry as well for being such a coward last night, and for looking forward to the next time he barges into your mind. Like each time before, you knew he would just tip over the last vases in your head containing the most persistent bits of your sanity just to shatter them into pieces with ease. The pain pulsating in your temples and your chest kept telling you that you wanted to break out of those pretty porcelain containers you kept so properly in your brain through all this time, but what happens when these thoughts are not there anymore and are let out to run around freely? They have been stored on the shelves in strict restraints of your psyche so neatly through everything. What will replace them? You knew he did not come with empty hands, and the earthquake shaking up everything came from within you. You could not blame him anymore. You wanted him to paint the inside of your body and soul with everything he was and to not hold back, but at the same time you were holding back more than you wanted to admit.

You lifted your shaky hands just to cover your face but you could not hide the tears dripping onto the floor, finding their way between your fingers like some pesky reminders that you were running out of time and options before having to face yourself. You thought of the cute little box of chocolates Oikawa left on your doorstep with a little note saying “I can’t go back now. Please accept it anyway, okay? -Tooru”. You kept looking at it, studying the corners of the box and how the shiny golden letters sparkled in the faint morning light coming from your window. It said something in French, he must have spent a good amount of money on it.  
“What a silly guy… really…”

Compared to the flashy and shiny limited edition gift wrapping you presented yourself in yesterday you were now wearing the first thing you saw in your wardrobe, your eyes were puffy and a little red from the hours of pathetic sobbing, and your hair was nothing any decent person should comment on in a semi-formal conversation. You almost looked as horrible as you felt, and you had no energy to hide it anymore. You felt like a sore loser who blames his enemy for her own weakness, just because said enemy was too strong. it was true, your emotional, mental, and physical strength was nowhere near what Oikawa possessed. You did not even know anymore if it made you angry or just more starved to let him unleash all that power onto you.  
With all these thoughts weighing you down you dragged yourself from one lecture to the other and you decided to get an extra cup of coffee before carrying on with your abysmal day, so you headed to the cafeteria in the main building. It was busy as expected, it was 2 PM after all and you hated every second you had to survive just to reach the counter in the crowd. But you were on a mission, you needed some sort of support to get through your last lecture, be it caffeine, or something else you craved much more, but was completely beyond your reach.

\- Hey [Y/N]-chan! – The familiar voice rang behind you in the cafeteria. You felt the curious stares on your back, they just added to the already crippling self-consciousness you felt for a million reasons today. You just wanted to get to the next lecture without having to deal with a public breakdown and now… there he was. You slowly turned around just to find yourself face-to-face with your beautiful tormentor.

\- Uh. Hi. – You averted your gaze, the attention was getting to you in the worst possible way and you could not stop thinking about yesterday. You remembered feeling his breath on your lips and the warmth of his palm on your waist. You wanted everyone else in the cafeteria to just disappear so that you could turn him into the feral magical being he was last evening and get a taste of the real thing once and for all. The invisible chains around your chest got heavier and Oikawa had the end of the chain in his hands. And he knew.

\- Aww. You’re not as happy to see me as you were yesterday. – His shameless grin felt like scorching hot water poured down onto you from your head, to your shoulders, all the way down to your toes. You wanted to slap him so hard. But he was right, you were exstatic yesterday, he was there in all of your thoughts. To be fair, this was not the case only yesterday. it has been going on for weeks and while you were already in shambles because of it, he seemed irritatingly collected. You hated the taste of this weird mixture of endless respect towards him and the aggressive yearning to tell him to fuck off.

\- I’m generally not too happy today, so let me just grab a coffee and then I have to be at my next lecture in an hour, so if I could just…

\- I’ll treat you to one then. What kind?

He was so fast to act that you could not even get a second to think of declining his offer or to leave him there – which you thought of for a few seconds – so you just mumbled your answer at him and tried to ignore how many people looked your way. You cursed yourself for not dolling yourself up a bit more but at this moment there was no point in worrying about your current looks. You could already imagine how shocked everyone must have been about The Tooru Oikawa, AKA The King of the Court hanging out with a grey little mouse like yourself. You could feel your stomach tighten at the thought of measuring yourself up to him, but your attention was quickly turned towards how charming Oikawa was while doing the simple act of ordering two cups of coffee. It was laughably prosaic, yet he made it sound beautiful enough to make the girl at the counter chuckle. A slight sense of discomfort washed over you and you instinctively shot a glare her way which broke her smile in an instant. Were you getting possessive? Oh don’t be ridiculous!

Oikawa was wearing a grey hoodie, a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He did not look flashy at all, as he was not wearing the same outfit as yesterday that you just called “sex clothes” in the back of your mind because that setup was too obviously there to make you go crazy for his body. However, these simple clothes did not help your case either. He still looked stunning but this time it was not his face or his closeness that made you see him as a vision sent from a different dimension that you were unworthy of entering. Watching his movements from behind was still breathtaking simply because it was _him_ who did all those mundane things. When he nodded a strand of hair fell in front of his forehead, making you wonder how soft it must feel. You remembered the scent of his shampoo from the movie night, and how good the warmth of his body amplified it all. You wanted to touch him so bad back then, and you realised that ache just got stronger with time. His movements were far from you now, but your breathing synced to it in a matter of seconds the same way as that night. Watching him from afar was enough for you and you could only hope that you were not making the same face as you did when you finally gathered enough courage to study his selfie in the loneliness of your dorm room. When he reached into his pocket you took a deep breath, and when he opened it, you let the air leave your lips slowly. As you watched his fingers carefully picking out the coins the air stopped halfway in your throat – they were slightly calloused and bony, the pronounced shapes of the joints made each miniscule movement seem bigger and stronger than they probably were. By the time you started slipping into imagining these very fingers working on you he turned to you with a great, wide smile with tooth-rotting prettiness and just a faint tinge of fatigue under his eyes that flashed a hint of hope your way.  
The hope that maybe he was _maybe_ struggling under the same flavor of agony as you.

\- Let’s sit outside, yeah? - He looked around, acknowledging the mass of people that grew more comfortable with each passign second.

\- Yeah. It’s getting way too crowded here.

You replied to him with a nervous chuckle before making your way out of the building. As soon as you reached the park outside everything was more silent and calmer. The weather was warm but not hot, you thanked yourself for putting on that fluffy cardigan of yours in the morning. There was a fresh, gentle breeze and the sun peeked out in between the clouds just enough to warm you up. You could have relaxed perfectly if it wasn’t for Oikawa following you closely to your favorite bench. As you sat down he handed you your coffee and sat down right beside you. It was almost uncomfortable, but you did not want to make a scene, especially because you were already on the verge of tears for leaving you the way he did last night. Of course you did not want to give him the satisfaction of revealing how painfully you craved him. The natural ease with which he placed himself next to you annoyed you even further because there was not even the smallest hint of discomfort on him. None at all. He seemed to enjoy the situation more than you did but it was really nothing out of the ordinary by now.

\- So, what’s the matter? No sleep last night? – The only reason why his grin was not visible for you after his nonchalantly voiced question was because he quickly took a sip of his cup. The little curve at the end of his sentence sent goosebumps all over you but you swore you would not give in so easily. You could hold on a little longer, right?

\- I had a lot of studying to do. You know, sometimes I wonder if you also have such responsibilities. – Now it was your turn to take a long sip after shooting these verbal icicles in Oikawa’s direction. He stopped for a second and stared at you in disbelief. It was the first time you saw this kind of worried expression on him.

\- Wow, I didn’t realize my hanging was scheduled for today! – He laughed but there was something serious about his voice and you could tell he was too busy searching your face for answers before putting his cup besides him and sitting closer to you. Deep down your biggest wish was that he regretted at least a little bit for not taking you as you were last evening. – What’s going on? – He leaned in closer to look you straight in the eye. Now you really had to come up with something. – And just to let you know I already _responsibly_ completed my training in the morning, and my classes for today, so I have all the time in the world to listen to everything you have to say. Or even if you don't want to say anything at all.

You did not even want to start questioning him about his classes and whether he really did not have any for the day. You would have felt terrible if he skipped them because of you, but at the same time the thought that he would rather spend time listening to whatever troubled you grabbed your throat in its fist so sweetly that you needed a few seconds before nodding Oikawa’s way. You tried to ignore the slight heaviness of your chest when lifting your gaze to meet his. Those big, vivid eyes were filled with questions and a deep kindness you wanted to wrap yourself into just to hide from the world. A world that suddenly felt so cold that you had no choice but to keep gazing into the deep brown canvas of Oikawa’s eyes that sucked you in like a whirlpool along with the most delicate rays of the afternoon sun that painted finely-woven golden threads into it. You knew you were already hopelessly tangled into them when you idly smiled at the man in front of you and just let the two of you exchange words without speaking. Words that still should not have been said for a while. Just a little while.

\- I still have a lecture in about half an hour, so we better drink these and head to Building C. – You pointed in the general direction of the bright blue construction in the distance after speaking in a surprisingly collected manner, despite being on the verge of tears for a reason you did not understand, and it was probably better this way. – So, I am not sure how you plan on spending those ninety minutes after this coffee break… - You raised your eyebrows, and without hesitation he replied to you with a delicate smile.

\- I am not that lost. Don’t worry, I will find something to do. – Oikawa chuckled softly and leaned back on the bench, clearly neither expecting nor accepting any further comments on the matter. After finding the most comfortable position for himself, your shoulders slightly touched but this time you did not mind it that much even if it sometimes let a sense of unease wash over you, as it was quickly replaced with something that made you smile every single time you forgot to pay attention to your expression for a few seconds. It felt as though those persistent golden threads stayed with you from a few moments ago and kept tickling your face just to pull it into a silly smile. They did not want to elicit any big reactions. They were not screaming at you to notice them. Each of them charmingly made their way onto all your features, slowly crawling behind your ears onto your nape and finding their way into your hair and down your spine, gradually wrapping your skin in his glow. You both sat in silence for a few minutes sipping your coffee, watching the other students passing by, chatting, laughing, listening to music, or staring at their phone screen while they hurried to their next lecture. The thought of how much of a gentleman he proved himself to be by not pressing you about why you did not look as fabulous as yesterday felt like a thick, fluffy blanket on your tired mind. You were already feeling happy just by not having to be happy and the caressing feeling of gratitude started taking over you, but just when you were about to break the silence and turned to Oikawa, he spoke first.

\- I see you finished yours as well. I don’t want you to be late because of me… You’ll have plenty chances for that later too. – He said with a wink, making your face turn so red so suddenly that you could not even react before he grabbed the empty paper cup from your hand to throw it in the nearby trash bin along with his. You stood up with a frown and tried your best to just silently ignore what he said. You knew exactly what he meant by those electrifying words, but you also really did not have the capacity to deal with the thoughts that would follow. He kept grinning and you followed him to the building with a stern expression, still trying to hopelessly convince yourself on the surface that you could survive under this siege.

Just before reaching the entrance he jumped in front of you with the most perfect beam plastered all over his face. Did he really not mean to give up on this train of thought? Did he not hear your silence? Just when you were about to lower your walls and let yourself feel comfortable with him, he just had to drop that bomb and now he was acting all cheerful about it. What a brat…

\- Come ooon, don’t be maaaad… - He whined and quickly reached out to hold your hands for a brief moment to make you stop and look into his eyes. His touch burned your fingers, but you could not bring yourself to rip your hands out of his hold. – I was just joking. You are really not being yourself today. – He gave you a painfully adorable pouty face, still having that mischievous glimmer in his stare.

\- It’s just… You didn’t seem this concerned about me or how I was when you left last night, you know. – You could not even believe that you just blurted out these thoughts. Yes, it was obviously bothering you but at the same time you did not want to seem desperate. However, there was no helping it now and you thought you might as well just go all in at this point. – But now you are just proving what Aki said about you after the movie night.

\- Aki…? What did he say? – Now it was Oikawa’s turn to nervously chuckle while letting go of your hands softly.

\- That you were _running after me_.

He darted his gaze at the ground for a second, not even caring about how many people passed the two of you walking in and out of the building right at that moment. Oikawa knew he was being stared at, that the two of you were getting way too much attention again, but he did not mind being seen in his current state at this point. If it was possible to not be embarrassed of being embarrassed, then he was doing just that. His cheeks got a slight reddish color and when he looked back to find your gaze, he had the most genuine smile you have seen from him so far.

\- Well, I might just have been found out, huh? Running after you… – He snickered at himself, but he quickly straightened up and snapped back into his usual confident state, even with the trace of blush still tainting his perfect features. – It is true. I straight up told Aki that I wanted to be there the next time I can spend some time with you, right after we first met. Because I never kept the attraction between us a secret in front of anyone. – He tilted his head to the side and bit his lip before continuing – Unlike someone I know.

if you had the mental strength to ponder over whether it is scientifically proven that you were capable of blushing with your entire body, you would have done so right the moment he finished his sentence. It looked like whenever you neared the chance to control the situation between the two of you, it slipped away just when you let yourself believe that you could – just for a second – gather yourself and be the leader for once. _He_ made you believe that, _he_ was the one with the power to make you lead when that was what _he_ wanted, and he could take it back anytime _he_ saw fit. This was just one of the many cases you arrived at the point where he wanted you to be out of your own will, just to show you that he was not pushing you around at all. You were going to end up just where he wanted you to be, the way he wanted you to be and there was no turning back for you. Because regardless of what you did you were heading towards him, getting closer with each step to something astonishing, something that was larger and stronger than you could ever be. You were standing there frozen like a statue with your mouth agape, bathing in Oikawa’s commanding adoration he dauntlessly bathed you with. It felt as if you were being encased in gold alive inside and out, you could only breathe in the sticky, shiny substance only the two of you knew of. It was sweet and charring, and too overwhelming for you to leave any space to think. It took a few endless seconds to force your hands into fists so you could drag yourself back into reality just enough to speak with a pitifully weak voice.

\- I… The lecture starts in a few minutes and… - You just realized you were staring at him the whole time and his smile did not die down even a bit. He loved the mutual attention, and he especially seemed to enjoy how much you hated to admit that you gave it to him just the way he liked it the most.

\- Yeah, I know. Let’s get you into that classroom before all hell breaks loose. – As Oikawa turned around to hold the door for you he shot you a glare so hungry that it made you miss a step, but he strangely did not laugh at your stumbling. You were not sure if he could keep a straight face only because he successfully held his laughter back or because he did not notice. Now your entire head felt so hot you just wanted to sink into a pool of ice-cold water. The two of you reached the classroom in a matter of minutes and you turned around – still quite red in the face – to nod at Oikawa.

\- So, here we are. I am going in now… - You muttered.

\- And I’ll be here after the lecture. – He gave you sweet smirk and leaned in for a second before heading to a nearby chair on the corridor – Watch your step. – His whisper made you even more flustered once again, and you stuck out your tongue at him just to earn a chuckle. You also had to smile at it a little as you turned around to join the rest of the students.

The lecture felt longer than usual which did not even surprise you anymore. After all, it was Prince Charming waiting for you outside. The fleeting worry that he might not be there when you leave sneaked into your mind a few times while flipping the pages of the heavy book in front of you. You also could not ignore how shaky your hands were and how ugly it made your notes look. You were nervous but not the same way as before. It was not the uncomfortable truth that your body wanted him to trample you, but the terrifying dread looming over you, whispering that you had a yearning for him that was above all the carnal desires you already accepted. You did not want to be his toy and if there was anyone who could easily play with you as he wished, it was Oikawa. Not because you regarded him as a bad person who would just do something like that, but because you knew you did not stand a chance against him. He shattered each brick into pieces in the walls around you that you built up specifically to protect yourself from him. He did it all so efforstlessly, he did it all much better than anyone before, and it scared you even more because you never tried to make it so hard for for others in the past to get close to you. And still, this was the first time you were about to give in so easily. Maybe it was because he was everything you secretly wanted despite being convinced that he was not your type, that you did not like guys who were as confident as he was, that you did not care for looks that much, and that his natural charm did not affect you at all. You wanted to be immune and above it all, trying your best to see him just as another pretty boy who had no wits or depth to his character, but he proved you wrong with everything he did. And he did not even have to strain himself for that. You let out a long, dreamy sigh and tried your best to follow the subject, fighting your distractions with a weakened will.

When it was time to leave the classroom, you held your breath for a few seconds while stepping onto the corridor. At first you did not see Oikawa and you started frantically looking for him only to find him sitting in a chair, reading a notebook, getting completely lost in it. His legs were crossed lazily, he held his notebook spread on his thighs, and to your greatest shock he was wearing a pair o f glasses. There was a slight frown on his forehead, his were lips pursed, he was sure concentrating on some important things written there. He did not pay any mind to who was looking at him, each and every detail on his face was completely pure and naked. The thought that you wanted to see more of him like this, being himself so freely and naturally made your heart beat so hard that it knocked the breath out of you for a few seconds.

This was the moment when you realized he was not beautiful in a superficial way, but he was stunning as a human being and you could not stop standing in awe.

After taking a few deep breaths you walked up to him as quietly as possible, to sort of sneak up on him. Who said he was the only one allowed to annoy you after all?

\- Boo! – You exclaimed, making Oikawa look up with an adorably confused face. You giggled at his reaction as you watched him closing his notebook and putting it back into his backpack with a slowly growing smile.

\- Wow, you rascal. – He laughed a bit and shook his head. – That’s more like it. – He let out a sigh, gazing at your proud grin. Looking at him up close made him even more attractive, the glasses enhanced his already obnoxiously perfect features. You had to bite your lip and turn your head away for a second.

\- I’m heading home now. That’s where my day ends, luckily. – You opened your arms and looked around, seretly to avoid looking at him. It was becoming too much. He was too much.

\- Can I walk you home then? – There was something in his question that sounded more familiar than you wanted to admit, and you felt a hint of shame for adoring every single syllalbe in these words.

\- Sure. If you are free…

\- I told you I am. – He just smiled at you and there was no way you could say no anymore. You did not want to.

**Author's Note:**

> ❤︎ I haven't written anything for years, and English is not my first language. if you decide to comment, please be gentle. Thank you!!! ❤︎


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